


We don't have the funding to replace the cameras again

by TheAceOfSpades



Series: Outside the mirror [4]
Category: jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: But only from Wilford, No I'm not funny, No understanding of death, Talks about blood, Why do i have so many tags?, Wilford has a TV show, You can't convince me he doesn't, attempt at comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:42:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26499580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAceOfSpades/pseuds/TheAceOfSpades
Summary: Wilford runs one of the most popular tv talk shows, loved by both humans and egos alike. But we all know how, well, bloody those can get.
Series: Outside the mirror [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1704175
Kudos: 5





	We don't have the funding to replace the cameras again

‘Is it a thing my directors have to be able to do?’ Wilford wondered, ‘being able to shout at me for so long?’  
His current director was ranting at him again. It wasn’t his fault his interviewees couldn’t handle a little joke! He was just trying to tickle him with a knife, that was all…  
She, however, didn’t seem to see it that way. At the end of the show she had pulled him aside and started YELLING.  
‘It’s like a banshee,’ Wil thought, small smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.

The producer, who had just been beginning to wind down from her tirade, took offence to the twitching of his lips, and launched into a high-pitched rendition of the ‘rules and regulations’. Wil closed his eyes and let the yelling wash over him, ignoring the shrill screeching that must have really been straining her throat.

Wil blinked as the Producer broke off into coughing, human features dissolving into black smoke, revealing the beings eldritch, featureless face. As her features began to reform, ready to begin yelling again, Wil held up a single finger, cutting her off.

“Look, my friend, I get it. I really do.” The producer slowly let out a sigh of air. “People just can’t take a joke nowadays!” He smiled, baring his teeth in almost predatory grin.

The producers hand met her face as she let out a long-suffering groan.  
“No Warfstache, people can’t come back from the dead. Not like you can.”

Willard scoffed. “But. But! I can name others who can! Like Darky, Anti.” A pause. “The Googles! See? That’s at least 6!” Another pause. Wil opened his mouth to continue, but the producer jumped in before he could say anything else.

“Special cases. Most people can’t. Especially seeing as most of the people you get on here are mortal - as in, they don’t have any special powers or abilities whatsoever.” This time, it was her turn to pause. She looked upwards in thought. Willard tried to jump in but she held a finger to her lips and went ‘shush.’ She was thinking.

An incredulous laugh escaped from her throat. “This isn’t even the reason I wanted to speak to you!” Her voice had risen an octave. “The crew wanted me to yell at you for getting blood in the cameras again! They keep reminding me we don’t have the budget to spend on new ones every time-“ She broke off.

Wilford chuckled. “Well, don’t you worry my friend! No more blood! That I promise!” He hit her on the back, smiling all the while, before skipping off to his changing room to get cleaned up. ‘I must thank Bim for installing those showers,’ he thought. ‘They really are a lifesaver!’

The producer watched him bounce off, shaking her head fondly. ‘A promise?’ she thought to herself. ‘Well, that means at least a week before having to replace something.’


End file.
